The ocean gives us over half of the air we breath! Did you know that more than 50% of coral reefs around the globe are now gone! I bet you also might be surprised to find out that 90% of big fish in the ocean are also gone due to over fishing!? Experts say that if over fishing is not addressed as a serious problem then that within the next 50 years all of the big fish in the ocean will be gone! Sylvia Earle explains all of this in the video on the left.
12% of land is protected in national parks while less than 1% of space is protected in the ocean. This is mind boggling to me seeing as the ocean is such a vital part of life! In order to get legislation passed to protect the oceans everyone needs to lend a helping hand, the best way to get things changed is to voice your opinions and make sure that people can hear you! Write to your congress men expressing your concerns about the ocean and all legislation that has to do with it. Join a group funding the preservation of the ocean and maybe even do some volunteer work. Attached are links to organizations and groups that support ocean conservation…
Madeline--
ReplyDeleteGreat topic. Living in a landlocked state like Ohio doesn't give us the chance to talk about the ocean very often!
I originally liked your font. It looks like handwriting, which gives the blog a more personal feel. But there is something funky going on with the punctuation. Instead of periods, it looks like "l" after every sentence.
Have you considered finding a shorter video? Eighteen minutes is a long time for a viewer to watch. They might not want to watch for that long and will move on without getting the information from the video you wanted them to.
Likewise, you have some great percentages and info. Maybe a graph or pictograph would help make your entry more visually pleasing as well as allow the reader/viewer to get information quickly.
I think a story or anecdote could make your essay more convincing. Perhaps draw on the readers emotions to make them feel as passionate about the topic as you are...
Your call to action is great. Like I said before, make the reader feel passionate about the topic by letting them know they can make a difference!
Your facts are really amazing. I did a similar topic to this and i was astounded by the decrease in larger fish like bluefin tuna in the oceans in recent years.
ReplyDeleteYour video was really interesting and very imformative but i agree with Ashley that you might want to look for something a little bit shorter.
While i was doing my own research i came across an article that said something a little bit different then what you found. It stated that under the Bush administration there was an ocean conseravation act signed that made an area of ocean off the coast of Hawaii protected habitat. The reef in question was said to be larger than every national park in the United states combined. I didn't look to much into it because it didn't tie in with my writing but it might be worth checking into for your topic.
Great topic, really needs exposed, a landlocked state is affected by the fate of the ocean too. I've heard figures are around 10 years for extinction of certain fish breeds in the sea. You should check out Oceana, it's a nonprofit organization where the name says it all.
ReplyDeleteIts funny because there are organizations and groups out there trying to save whales and protect them, but there are no groups advocating Krill (threatened by CO2 constantly dissolving into the ocean, making it more acidic), which is THE entree on a whale's menu. Keep up the good work.
Your rough draft was well written, you were very clear. I found the statistics very intriguing. The essay made me a little more concerned about oceans, but not enough to make me write a letter to my congressman. You were persuasive in your use of statistics and appealing to emotion. The links all worked and your rough draft was very visually pleasing. It was easy to read. Good job!
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